Eh...not sure how I like the new look.

Tell me what you think. And how do I center the picture? And where do I find better (and free) templates? Yada yada yada. The life of the computer illiterate...

Coming out...

Embarrassing guilty pleasures:

1.Taylor Swift
2. Britney Spears (her concert was off the HOOK)
3. Saying "off the hook."
4. The Pussy Cat Dolls. If it wasn't for Jake, I would've tried out to be one. For reals.
5. American Eagle. Erin + trendy = no bueno...and yet, I have every intention of going there this Saturday to shop...for me...even though Christmas is coming up.

6. Shopping for myself while I should be Christmas shopping...on a budget.

7. Facebook stalking.
8. Feminism...especially when there's a chauvinist around.
9. Crafts...seriously. (Except for scrapbooking. Buying expensive paper to embellish pictures of my life happenings sounds like a waste of money to me. I'd take an explanation on the back of a photograph any day - I'd like to think my crafts are a little more useful).
10. Saying inappropriate comments in church.
11. Pretending that I know more about politics than I do.
12. My undeniable, totally inappropriate, pedophile-esque crush on Zac Efron.

And other intentional, guilty faults...

1. Giving too much detail...especially when I know it's irritating.
2. Intentionally making people uncomfortable/pushing their buttons.
3. Being completely honest - especially when offensive (hey, when did honesty become a bad thing?)
4. If you have a problem with me and I haven't done anything to you, I'll give you a reason to have a problem with me. Hey, it's free game if you're already being a jerk.
5. Trying to act like a hard A...mmk, in reference to number 4, I actually don't intentionally try to offend people. It just so happens that most people don't wanna hear the truth...so, I just so happen to offend people because I'm honest (i.e. of you're a b-word, I'm gonna let you know - in less offensive terms).
6. I always think I'm right. Because I always am. Seriously.

P.S. I'm purposely making fun of people or being cynical (and sometimes offensive) on my blog.

....oh yeah, and sometimes I curse.

I hAtE wHeN pEoPlE wRiTe LiKe ThIs.

Okay, really though. Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like that? Although, I gotta give the people that do this some credit. It took me FOREVER to write the title to this post.

I also don't get, "Miss/love yer face!!" What does that even mean?

Also, to the Aggiettes/Aggie cheerleaders...you guys should ditch the conventional arm movements, kicks, head throws and twirls and try out some moves similar to the ones on America's Best Dance Crew. Just a suggestion.

As for the half-time entertainment coordinator for football games...do we really need to see the marching band play every time?

Last but not least,

Dear Logan City,

You had the whole Summer to do the road construction that is currently taking place around campus...and yet, you conveniently chose to start the same week that school started...genius.

Sincerely, Jabroni

Things I have learned...etcetera

Number one:

Dear Rolex,

Sure your watches are made with diamonds and gold...but they're ugly. Like for old people. You should come up with some new, edgy designs.

Love, Jabroni

Number two:

Jake is the shiz. He cleaned the house, did the laundry, and made me lunch. Then we watched Grey's Anatomy...and he got teary eyed. Yes, when he reads this, I'm dead meat.

Number three:

Tim Burton's style is like a breath of fresh air. He is unconventionally talented. I love his stuff. Edward Scissorhands makes me teary and I love the Corpse Bride.

Number four:

I read this thing on MSN saying "Chris Brown is confused about his public image." Well, duh, idiot. We're confused about you too. Your music brings about the best dance parties but you beat up Rhianna. We like to listen to your stuff but we think you're a douche. Still confused?

Number five:

I thoroughly (and surprisingly) LOVED the movie 17 Again.

Number six:

I hate hunting. Everything about it. The clothes, the fact that animals are dying by bleeding out, and the people. Really. I think you're heartless. And yes, I DO eat meat. Thanks for killing it for sport so that I can eat.

The end.

My almost future boss wants to see me in a swimsuit? Gross.

A few weeks ago a not-so-business-savvy individual sent me an email about a job opportunity. It seemed sketchy yet promising at the same time. I was told to email a certain "prominent" business owner if I was interested. I was intrigued, so I did. I received an email back from his very unprofessional secretary (the girl sounded like she was in high school and had horrible writing skills). In this email she failed to mention anything about the job. All she told me was to "keep trying and hold to the dream" and "make sure you're really serious about this. Don't waste my boss' time. He doesn't like that." Then she gave me a whole schpeal about who this guy was: "He's the most amazing new business owner in the world...made his first million at 18...is only 23 now...has overcome such great odds!!!" Oh please, cut the crap. We can all argue that we've overcome "such great odds." That's life, sugar.

So I decided to cut out the middle man and add him as a friend on facebook and email him myself (He later let me know that because he's "so busy" he doesn't always check his own account. He has "people" to do it for him - cute, right?) He emails me back and is impressed by my drive. And, yes. You better believe I have one. I graduate in May and need to line up a job. ANYway, I let him know that I've heard absolutely nothing about the job and am not sure what he's offering. He proceeds to ask me what I'm looking for. I lay down the law and say I'm strictly looking for a writing/marketing/designing job because that's what I do best and I'm passionate about it (seriously, I don't give a shiz about money...especially after being in college/poverty - I know I can live off a mere 200 bucks a month...) He then tells me to come up with some "lotion, potion" idea and pitch it to him so that we can take it to this big company that apparently helps little guys like us start meaningless business' like Xango or that Alaskan Blueberry "curing" drink. Not to mention he would be my business partner and make half of what I make. Sounds like a killer deal, right?? I called him back a few days later and said, "No - I'm not passionate about some obscure lotion or potion. Give me a writing/marketing/designing job or I'm walking." (I failed to mention that this was after a two hour phone interview where he kept "name dropping" and letting me know that he's rich and single and is a big deal and not to give away his phone number or any other phone numbers that he gives me...mmk. Why would I do that anyway? He also knows that I'm married but kept dropping "single" comments - oh yeah, and lots of girls wanna have his baby... This conversation went in circles and I was just as confused as ever as to what he was offering by the end...let me remind you, this guy "doesn't have time to waste." I don't know what you call that but it was definitely a waste of my time and I don't appreciate that). Just to see if he really was a big deal, I emailed one of the founders of Zinch.com, Mick Hagen, and asked him if he had heard of this guy as well as any of the other names this "professional, prominent business owner" had dropped. If anyone credible were to know those names, it would be him. . .and he had never heard of them. Becoming more and more sketchy...

Unfortunately, I was still intrigued because I thought I was going to get my dream writing/marketing/designing job so we decided to set up a face-to-face interview for Sunday. (That was actually nice because I was able to hang out with my mom and her bf in Park City with Jake and Scout...we took Scout to a dog parade where all the dogs were wearing costumes including Scout. It was awesome. Especially the part where Scout pooped in the road). ANYway, we decided to meet Sunday...at some time. I texted him around 11am and we didn't meet until after 2pm. At Arby's. Classy.

The interview: the first thing this douche bag asks me (in a very condescending tone, I might add) was, "So why'd you get married?" Umm...because Jake is the shiz and I love him. The end. No, not for sex. No, not because I'm insecure and felt I "needed" someone. No, not because I went to hair school and know I need more of an income than that. No. Because I love him and he's perfect for me and we are totally independent and love doing our own things as well as love LOVE doing things together. AND because we can talk about anything and because he is truly my best friend. Make sense, heartless, creepy guy?? Alrighty, let's get started with the real interview. Oh wait, nope. Not yet. Then he wants to see my ring and tells me that if I had known him a few months before he would've referred me to his jeweler friend (then he flashes his Rolex at me - which he bought from this fantastic jeweler - and tells me to guess how expensive it was. I said a thousand bucks because I don't know and, frankly, don't give a crap - he laughs and says, "A thousand bucks?? What?? No, this was like $15,000." Oh wow, thank you for sharing that with me. You now seem 15,000 times more legit and mature...oh wait). Alright, NOW to the real interview. The guy hands me a NDA (non-disclosure agreement...which by its standards, I'm being totally legal because I haven't said his name...not like I'd disclose anything important anyway because NOTHING IMPORTANT WAS SAID!!) I then tell him my marketing ideas and whip out some designs I had been thinking of to help market his product. He loved my ideas. And then he gave me business advice for the next hour and a half. Well, thank you Mr. Partonizing, unprofessional, young man. I am SO enlightened. I mean, I've heard this all before but your money and your name have me absolutely starstruck... He then tells me to come to this "super awesome meeting" where all of these "big names" are gonna be in November. So...wait. What about the writing/marketing/designing job?? Not to worry. He offered me an "affiliate" position with his company. Isn't that sweet?! I getta tell people about you and if they come to you for business services, I get 15%?? OMG, HOW NICE!!! No set income?? That sounds PERFECT!! Thuper... (that's "super" with a lisp for those of you who don't hang out with me often).

It gets better.

He then tells me that I should probably bring a swimsuit to this meeting. Why? Because he likes to see girls he works with in swimsuits. Oh wow! Thank you! I'm SO thuper flattered!! Not like I'm smart or perfectly capable of doing a better job at what YOU do, but whatev!! I'm a girl!! I have boobs!! I MUST have a hot body, right?? And that's pretty much all I'm worth, right?? RIGHT??? (PS, if you read this Mr. Douche Baggy Unprofessional Sue-Happy Prick and try to sue me under the terms of the NDA, I WILL sue you for sexual harassment. Deal? Deal).

So, I am again confused about my dream job and am pretty much not looking forward to this "big meeting" (after telling him I would not be bringing a swimsuit, but who knows? Maybe I'll find one for Scout and bring him!) so I email him last night with a fabricated story about being out of town for the week of Thanksgiving and therefore, cannot make it to the mtg. He then proceeds to tell me this is my only chance to "make it big" and that they are not having another one of these meetings (oh yeah, I can only get into the mtg if I invite others who will, in turn, have to pay to get in - sounds awesome, right?? Kinda like those Pinnacle Security douche bags who have no dignity and no integrity and hate their jobs, but HEY! They're makin' money!) ANYway, he then texts me and says, "What's with your email?" so I say, "What do you mean?" knowing perfectly well what he means. So he says, "Well why didn't you just call?" (umm...why didn't you just call? You obviously have your phone on you...) so I say, "Sorry, I'm at work and can't call and like to get things done immediately. That's how I work." Which is true, btw. He then tells me that he doesn't work that way so I get ballsy and say, "Y'know what? You're gonna work with a lot of people in the business world that work differently than you and you're gonna have to learn to get along with them. That's business :)" (oh, the superficial smiley face that makes everything better). So he says, "Yeah I know but that's not my point." Well then what is your point? He then adds, "good luck" and the texting is over. The end, right?

Nope. His current facebook status: "I find it interesting when someone tells me to tell them how to make some extra spend cash and all they do is blow the oppertunity because they are fearful. Remember people who succeed have fear as well, they just do it anyways."

Dear Mr. Ball-less, unprofessional, single, inappropriate douche,

Numero uno, I was looking for a job. NOT extra spend cash. Numero dos, you spelled opportunity wrong. Numero tres, I'm not "fearful." In fact, I have more balls than you and would like to tell you that you need to grow a pair of professional balls and that I have no intentions of working for a 23 yr old prick that wants to see me in a swimsuit. Numero quatro, I will succeed, and you will eat your words. Thank you for being patronizing and unprofessional. It has been entertaining and has provided the info for this very long blog post.

Erin aka hot girl in swimsuit.

I have this thing called an "apartment."

Redone red lamp:
Couches given to me by my madre. We recovered them and put awesome pillows on them...and added the incredible storage ottoman:

The wall clock...and some pictures...and a key holder...with no keys:

Another clock. Jake and I made this one. Business idea? Thoughts?

Another redone lamp. Another business idea?

So there ya go. Pieces of our apartment in all it's glory. I'm proud.

Hello, everyone

I would just like you to know that yesterday was the 10 DAY MARK...as in, I'm doing this thing called "marriage" with this really attractive, intelligent, fun guy named Jake (aka Yacapo). Which means if yesterday was TEN then today is NINE and tomorrow is EIGHT and then 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...1!

I would also like everyone to know that my blog will not be one of those cheesy, cliche "happily ever after" blogs. I will continue to post whatever I want, whether it's about babies, anniversary, politics, my job, something I love, what I think about things, etc etc etc. And I will HOPEFULLY only post if it's funny or important (to me). In fact, this blog is strictly here just because I like to write. Selfish, right? I'm not even doing it to update my family members (heaven forbid)!! They can pick up the phone and give me a call if they wanna know the minute details of my life.

With that being said, have a fantastic day/week/month and if you got an invite, I'll see you in 9 days.

I just think this is funny

So, this really big jerk told my friend Katy that because she believes in Obama, she doesn't believe in God, among other things. Wow...I don't really understand his logic, but whatevs.

In order to stand up for Kate, I posted THIS on her wall:

"In one of my classes we're learning about logical fallacies...I just had to point this out - your Matthew friend who can't spell is committing quite a few fallacies. The biggest one is called a two-valued orientation - in other words, he only sees the world in black and white/good or bad. He and mental institution patients have this in common. In one of the articles I just read it said, "only the disturbed can't handle more than two choices." So obviously, he's disturbed. I'd also like to point out that the LDS Prophet of the God "[Kate] doesn't believe in" (which is ridiculous by the way - Dear Matt, Katy believes in the same God you believe in) also strongly encourages people to stay in school. Also, you spell Obama's name like this: Barack. And "says" does not have an apostrophe in it (say's?? Obviously someone needs more education).

P.S. I'm an art minor. I guess staying in school didn't hinder my creativity...weird!"

He then responded with this (after posting FOUR extremely rude comments on Kate's wall) - nothing has been changed - I copied and pasted:

"Erin I don't take Offense to your status because if your art major you shouldn't be given advice to my post. People like you live a fantasy world who don't understand Government nor it's deceptive morals. Give me the first and second amendments in the Constitution enough said. I am sorry I don't live up to your Intellectual capacity. It doesn't matter if I can spell true principles govern. Government Officials went to prestige colleges and can't run a country. Go back and re-read what I said about God your message makes no sense with what I was talking about. As well if your so educated then you need to stay up on issues with politics. I am not ok with the Government Officials forcing my kids to go to more schooling. It had nothing to do with people not getting education. Learn how to educate yourself in the history before you rip on someone who has studied it for years and learn how to respond to others without emotions behind your message."

So I responded with this: (After he told Katy that Obama MUST believe in God because he believes in families):

First of all, we're gonna play a little game to help improve your English skills to avoid further embarrassment. Circle the correct "your" or "you're" and "there" "their" etc. Also, point out which things SHOULD be capitalized and which things shouldn't and which things should have apostrophes, etc. I love games. This will be fun.

I'm a little confused. So you're/your saying that forcing kids to go to school will hinder their/they're/there creativity...but creative people live in a fantasy world? So Obama should, in fact, force kid's to go to school so they don't live in a fantasy world? So you support him? Hrmmm...

Also, in response to mine and Kate's "passionate post's" you responded on her page FOUR times... So your/you're not responding emotionally? I guess if you had a crush on Kate, that would make sense. You're/your just trying to get her attention. I mean, you DID post FOUR time's. I see that your/you're married, but heck! That doesn't mean a whole lot in Utah, does it?

Also, I did mention to you that I was an art MINOR but I failed to mention that I have a dual major in Speech Communications and Political Science. Wow, this just got SIGNIFICANTLY more awkward. If you really knew your/you're politics, you would know that the best place to look is NOT at the President, but at the Supreme Court. The President has no control over changing the constitution unless he takes it to the Supreme Court and it is then put into the Court's hand's. In fact, I'm pretty positive you're/your not familiar with the Stevens case, but it is being reviewed in October. This case deals with the first Amendment. You should read about it. THIS will affect you more than Obama "coercing" kid's to get an education. Also, did you know that the biggest problems in third world countries (poverty, crime, sanitation problems) are from a lack of education?? Weird!! Again, this just got significantly more awkward.

I have another question in regards to your FOUR political, and NOT emotional posts on Kate's wall. This is actually a Freudian principle. The more you fight it, the more wrong you are. You should look it up. Also, due to your many conflicting views about politics (you fight for one thing, then all the sudden turn it around and start fighting against it) - it seems to me that you're feeling a little bit of cognitive dissonance. And yes, you CAN look that up on wikipedia.

Also, you're/your saying that you do not wish for your kids to be forced to go to school. Is that so they can follow in your footsteps and still work at a call center making mucho bucks when they're 35?? Now that's just tender. AND self-sufficient.

Also, Obama believes in families, therefore, he MUST believe in God, right? Oh wait. But what about the Atheists that have families...they don't believe in god but they believe in families. Weird. This just got awkward again. I feel bad when I successfully refute arguments and possibly embarrass people. In a practical logic class, you'd learn that what you just did with "Obama believing in familie's = he believes in God" is a major, major mistake. What you just told everyone is this "Everyone that believes in families, believes in God." That's a pretty pretentious statement, my friend.

In conclusion, you may want to take an english class, wikipedia "how to use grammar correctly," and order a 10th grade spelling bee book. Or you could take the easy way out and hire an editor for your/you're political rants to avoid looking foolish.

Lastly, my post was not only to stand up for my good friend, Kate, but also to get a rise out of YOU! Success!!

P.S. I counted 23 grammar mistakes. Can you find them?

I think I win.

Bride/Groom Favs

I may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

Sometimes I just wanna say what I'm really thinking.

i.e. your babies are ugly, your eyeliner is too heavy - always, you'd get more dates if you lost some weight (although, if you didn't care so much about getting dates, you might not be so awkward and you'd be more confident about doing things for YOU instead of trying to impress boys - which, let's be honest, is just weird), I'm pretty sure that one guy I dated is in the closet, you're a jerk, your nose is big and your teeth are gross (umm...is that an underbite?), you're a social climber (i.e. at parties you ditch the people you came with to find cooler peeps...and somehow the people you came with STILL think you're cool and wanna be your friend - I don't get that), your blog is boring, I'm only letting you do that thing for me because you owe me, and you should take another drivers test when you turn 40, and again at 50, and again at 60, and again... The end.

P.S. See, Jake? I told you I would post this.

P.P.S. Oh yeah, and I want free stuff.