So...
What do I need? Like, really need? What did you use? What didn't you use?
So far, my "need-list" has some obvious staples like a crib (and all the necessary fixin's - not including a baby bumper), basic clothes (socks, onesies, hats, sleepers, etc), a stroller/carseat combo, a video monitor (of course I could just get a normal monitor, but I'm kind of a freak. If I can't see the baby, I'm going to be sneaking into its room every five seconds - possibly waking it up - just to make sure Baby is still there/breathing/comfortable. A video monitor will give me a lot of peace of mind), pump, bottles, pacifiers, toys (how soon do they start playing? I'm obviously very NOT used to babies...), bath time products (do I really need a baby bathtub?).
And diapers. While on the topic of diapers, cloth or disposable?
Hussy and I have had a lot of conversations about this. Are cloth diapers worth it if you're doing laundry everyday? Are disposables worth it if the blowouts are much worse than with cloth so you're doing tons of laundry anyway? What cloth diapers will actually save us money AND time? What disposables are the best in terms of coverage and comfort?
I'm so confused. There are so many good reviews about BOTH out there. I want to hear what YOU think.
And not just about diapers. About products you couldn't have lived without.
P.S. We totally find out the sex of the baby in a week. (Ahem...unless Baby is being modest.)
17 comments:
I would have to say that at first, everything is so chaotic that it's nice to have a lot of options for getting the baby to sleep, but after the first couple months, they don't care where they sleep, when they are out, they are out. I'm trying to do some cloth diapering this time around. It's hard because when you are tired you do what you know to do, and with my first I didn't do the cloth. I would do the disposable at night, especially at first. It also seems like he's more uncomfortable when he pees in the cloth. Even if you only do three cloth diapers a day, that's three diapers a day that don't end up in the land fill.
You know, with my daughter, we stood in her darkened room watching her sleep for months. I think there's some kind of instinct thing going on- I have to be in the same building as they are. Of course it gets better as they get older, but you probably won't need a video monitor, because you'll be peeking in on him or her anyway.
The most important advice I can give you- trust yourself. You can listen to advice all day long, but you have to do what you think is right. Of course, you'll make mistakes. Just tell the child you are sorry and move on. Do the best you can. As long as you have a sense of empathy, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Your list sounds good. I can't think of much more you'd need for the first few months. You can never have too many onesies and sleepers, what with blow outs and spit ups.
I would also add burp cloths (I just used old school cloth diapers for that. But really, any thick and absorbent cloth will work. But you definitely want some or you'll be changing yourself as much as the baby.)
The one thing I don't see on your list that I couldn't live without is a Boppy pillow. They're great for feeding/nursing, and for laying the baby on. (I would lay the baby in it on my bed while I showered, you know, in case the baby turned out to be a prodigy who could roll over and off the bed at a week old.)
As for diapers, I was very much a disposable diaper mom. There are pros and cons to both, and I know people who love cloth and wouldn't ever go with disposable. I'm sure you'll hear lots of advice from both sides. There's no right or wrong--it's whichever works best for you.
For me, I knew that rinsing poo (especially as they start eating food) out of diapers was not for me. And then there's the added laundry (you will be swamped with laundry regardless, but diapers will add that much more. And sometimes they have to be washed separately, so that's an extra load and seems to cancel out any environmental concerns of disposables.) So, I opted for the convenience of disposables. You can usually find coupons on the manufacturer's websites that will save quite a bit, and some brands (Pampers, I think?) offer points that you can redeem for big discounts. I'm not a couponer, but these were pretty easy to find and redeem. As for which work best, it's trial and error. With my boys, Luvs worked best. With my daughter, only Huggies didn't leak.
cloth for me, mostly because it's cheap and i had my own washer and dryer. it is a bit gross but not till the baby's bigger and eating food. i left the dirty ones in a pail and the clean ones unfolded in a basket next to the changing table. i used old fashioned rubber pants at the start and moved up to the velco wrap things. my initial investment (mind you this was 20 years ago) of $200 got me through both kids. i did diapers about 2 times per week. disposables for travel/convenience when necessary and i can't comment on recent brands. i recally huggies was best but again, it was LONG ago.
as far as need in addition to your list--a bouncy/vibrating baby seat makes the baby happy sometimes.
a double-barreled Medela breast pump if you plan to nurse.
i avoided pacifiers but ended up with thumb suckers. both have their downsides but there is a LOT to be said for thumbs...they cannot be misplaced in the middle of the night or on a long car drive.
a bath tub works well because you can use it on the counter when the baby is RELLY little (though the kitchen sink works too) but you can also put a baby bathtub in the regular bathtub when the baby is bigger. definitely optional but nice.
and my personal opinion on the monitor was if the baby couldn't cry loud enough to wake me, i didnt need to get out of bed...now if there are medical conditions that require monitoring that's a whole nother story. and my kids had NO TROUBLE waking me up several times each night.
i also could not have lived without a baby front pack. i don't remember the brand but it was like a backpack, only on the front. INVALUABLE!!!
the only other advice I can give you is to remember that MILLIONS of women have done this and (this is what really saved my sanity) YOU CARE about your baby! you are TRYING to learn! you are asking questions. i would look around at so many people who did not seem to adequately prepare (or even seem to care at all) for having children and THEIR kids were okay. i figured all my effort must count for something and that i was better prepared. i hope this works for you.
okay, last thing: whenever you receive unwanted advice, say..."but my pediatrician/obstetrician/doctor said (FILL IN THE BLANK WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT)." this also worked for me.
best of luck and looking forward to hearing about your journey!
diane
I agree with Brandi! I used cloth diapers as spit-up clothes. Set on my shoulder or sometimes under my boob when breast feeding.
I liked the convenience of disposable. But if you do go cloth I would use disposable at night. Because you are sure to have a mess if you don't!
Yay! Baby times are so exciting. With my son I feel like we used the baby tub all of three times! He LOVED the water by the time he was a month old (first bath is always a nightmare! But I am definitely giggling and having empathy pangs on the video of the first bath) and so I'd fill the tub up with only a little bit of water and lay him down in it. He'd kick and splash to his heart's content... he LOVED bath time!!
He's 5 now, but omg I am getting some jealousy pangs reading your blog! :) You'll love being a mommy. It's all instinct and nerves and triumphant feelings when you know that YOU got it right! Good luck!
I would do some research on the health and safety of cloth vs. disposable, not just convenience (for example: http://www.livestrong.com/article/111348-chemicals-disposable-diapers/) PS cloth diapers can also be redirected for use as a burp cloth. You will need a LOT of those.
I would say get a carrier, whether you get a wrap (such as Moby) or one with straps (such as Ergo), etc., just be sure to get one that suits your needs and keeps the baby in a comfortable position (examples: http://whatmollythinks.blogspot.com/2009/08/forward-facing.html)
EVERYONE I know who has a Bumbo seat LOVES it - good for baths, when you don't have room for/time to set up a high chair, etc. The plus is the smooth design that has no nooks or crannies for food or anything else to get stuck in.
I would also do some research into safe pacifier use (if you use one at all; it is healthier for people to be soothed by human beings, not artificial substitutes - think of getting a hug when you're sad vs. wrapping yourself in a blanket, your baby is no different) for example, one dentist's advice: http://www.kidsapnea.com/Pacifiers.php
I wouldn't worry quite as much about toys early on as books; even very young babies benefit from being read to. (It stimulates their communication/social skills: http://www.learningsteps.com/benefits-of-reading-to-newborns.html and it helps you bond: http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/10/reading-to-newborns-in-the-nicu-boosts-bonding/
A couple great books to help you along: Dr. Sears' Baby Book, also a ton of great books here: http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20 ... and you can also learn a great deal about your options a little bit at a time by following blogs like this one: http://www.drmomma.org/
this one: http://ecochildsplay.com/
this one: http://realchilddevelopment.com/
or this one: http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/
And a great set of apps to learn about all your options on several topics related to babies and children here: http://www.facebook.com/empoweringapps
Here's a pretty balanced article about cloth vs. disposable diapers. It talks about both the environmental factor and the chemicals. While I don't necessarily disagree with the Livestrong article, it is very much spun to one point of view. It's always good to get both sides before making a decision.
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/diapering-a-baby-9/diaper-choices
Lots of good advice.
My first burped/spit/projectile vomited like crazy. I used those receiving blankets for them. The second kid barely had any. I used face cloths.
You will need boob pads. Good thick ones that won't leak through. Cut out diaper liners maybe. Stock up on V-necks or other boob-accessible clothes and bras.
I use a mix of cloth and disposable diapers. My kids have sensitive skin the the disposables cause rashes if left on too long. Cloth usually aren't left on too long. I do use disposables at night. And I wash diapers every 5 days or so.
I found blow-outs much better contained in the cloth diapers. Get quality diaper covers. Of course, the product that you need with cloth diapers are those shower heads that attach to toilets. So you can wash poop off diapers easier. And disposable paper diaper liners.
And the first month or so, the kid may poop 12 times a day. That is not the time to use cloth. That is the time to use disposables and get as much help as you can, preferably who bring frozen casseroles.
Baby bathtub: we used it. Could have used the sink too but the baby bathtub was easier. I also rinse our girl's bum under the sink after every diaper change. Saves wipes and gets them cleaner.
Sleep. Most important. Our first lived in the bouncy chair/swing thing. I would stick her in and nap. The second didn't like it.
My favourite baby item was the cloth sling. I would wrap up baby close to me and head out. She was warm (we are in Canada) and happy. I could nurse her while I walked, although not recommended. I needed to get out and strollers are unwieldy. Especially in snow drifts or shopping malls.
And I echo first mom. Trust your instincts. And remember, this isn't supposed to be a one-person job.
Baby girl?
People are oddly opinionated about baby stuff, but everyone just needs to find what works for them. For example, diapers. Some brands seem to fit some babies better than other babies. My friend had a boy that did well with one brand, then had a girl that needed another brand. Weird.
Make sure you get vented bottles, though.
I also really liked my Graco snap n go or whatever it's called. It's little and awesome.
A Boppy is really handy.
OH! Something I swear by is a Bundle Me. That is made by JJ Cole or whoever (I'm rusty since I'm out of baby phase), but it's like a little sleeping bag you put in your baby's car seat. You leave it in there while it's cold, you put the baby inside, and the sides have zippers. So much better than bulky clothes. They come in different versions for different degrees of cold. I got the middle one that has fleece lining. I want one for myself.
I thought of something else. The book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. Don't bother with Baby Wise.
Hmmm. I went the most streamline way as possible as we have such a small place. The baby bath tub was all I used for quite a while (only a shower here) and now I just stick her in the laundry sink. Bumbo's seem to be everyone's favorite thing. I never got one, but I'm sure it would be useful. I'm a disposable diaper girl cause I like to deal with poop as little as possible! I was completely against pacifiers, but they honestly became a life saver for us. She hated the orthodontic kind and loves the cherry kind. They'll be hitting their demise soon though. I like my ergo baby carrier, but I think if I did it again, I'd go baby bjorn. They have the worlds greatest travel cot too if you need one. It is AMAZING. And definitely worth the price. I agree with a double pump if you go that route. Books are great, especially the cloth or plastic bath ones because they can grab those pages much faster and love holding them. To be honest, there are lots of products out there that many swear by that just make life easier, but aren't necessary. Do what you want to do, pay attention to how your baby reacts with different things and follow their lead and your instincts. I figured it worked for centuries before all this fancy stuff came out, so I could do without it all. And, lastly, :) although you HATE asking for advice, there will be plenty of times that you will want it. Things you don't want to go to a doctor for, don't want to look stupid for not knowing, etc. You can find almost anything online or ask for a bunch of ideas (as you just did) and then mix and match to fit your situation.
It sounds like I need a "sampler" basket or something. With a plethora of different diapers, burp cloths, books, bath time stuff, etc. That's actually not a bad idea...
You guys honestly helped out a ton. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all of these responses.
Okay, I have a 2-month old, and this is what I've found so far.
- Definitely a vibrating chair.
- A Moby wrap (or similar brand). Mine is a cuddler, and if I couldn't wear her around the house in the wrap, I'd never get anything done.
- A sound machine. I use the "cloud b" sleep sheep.
Also:
- I completely agree about the video monitor. I have it, I love it. I have the Phillips Avent and it's great.
- I use cloth diapers. Most of my stash is Oh Katy! with a few BumGenius. They leak a little bit if they get oversoaked, so you have to make sure to change them every couple of hours. I only have 10 right now, so I'm washing every day, but it's really not a big deal. Make sure when you wash, you use very little detergent and no fabric softener. Oh, and I have a BumGenius diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet. Can't live without it - so easy to spray the poop off into the toilet.
- I used disposables for the first month, and then switched over. She had a constant diaper rash while in the disposables, but using the cloth healed that right up. I still use disposables at night so she doesn't leak everywhere. I always put on diaper rash cream in the disposable. I've found the best brand is actually Burt's Bees. It's by far the thickest, it's great ingredients-wise for baby's bum, and it cleared up her rash the best. It was better than both the Butt Paste and the Triple Paste (which were the dr's recommendations).
Good luck!
Oh! The bathtub. I have a Puj tub that I L.O.V.E. for the babe. Seriously, love it. I will buy it for every pregnant person I know.
I haven't read the comments, but you know I love my cloth diapers so I'm naturally going to tell you to go with those. ;) I've got oodles of posts filed under "cloth diapers" on my blog that you can check out. It really isn't that bad and they SO aren't the cheap ones that people use for burp rags. They've come leaps and bounds in the past 10 years and they're suuuper easy to use.
As for disposables, we only use Luvs. They're made my Pampers, just as good in my opinion, and are several bucks cheaper. We get them from Amazon's Subscribe and Save/Mom program and get a box of 96 for $15 bucks shipped straight to our door. I love it.
As for a baby bath tub, I wouldn't. They have these chair things or foam mats that you can use instead. They take up sooo much less space.
I'd invest in a good pump (like a $200 Medela if you can) because at least for me, everything else sucked. Or should I say, didn't suck... If you're planning on having a couple of kids and planning on using breast milk, definitely get a good pump. They're SO worth it.
That's all I got for now... maybe I'll think of other stuff to pass along. :)
I am not exactly a mom yet... but here's what we've gotten so far: (I am at 27 weeks right now)
Crib (I am also going with NO BUMPER! Dead baby? No thanks. The breathe-able bumpers look stupid. So how about NO bumper? Yes please).
Mattress (High coil count is recommended. Also, buy the crib first, then figure out the exact measurements the mattress needs to be. Then buy that. You don't want a gap in-between the crib/mattress cause it's dangerous).
Movement Monitor Thing (Seems to be pretty promising. If the baby stops moving for a certain amount of time, alarm goes off and parents can intervene). I haven't purchased this one yet.
Shit ton of cute clothes.
Medela Breast Pumpie/Tittie pads/Lanolin for Nippies.
I'm going with Huggies.
Also, Huggies Natural Wipes. No dyes or perfumes. I have the most sensitive skin, and I can almost guarantee that baby Avalon will be the same.
I'm getting a 3 wheel jogger stroller, the ones with great big wheels. I want to exercise while my baby can experience nature at a young age from inside the safety of the stroller. I don't want a carseat/stroller combo, cause they seem to be a pain in the ass, but I really don't have experience anyway. I plan on always leaving the carseat in the car & taking out baby when we get out of the car. I have like 3 slings so far and I like each one! Hopefully my plan(s) work out.
fuggin love you.
Lots of excellent advice here - and a variety of it, too.
My must haves: medela breast pump. Pacifiers. Baby monitor. Baby bath tub (tiny babies are slippery little suckers!).
As far as the diapers are concerned, my only suggestion is to make sure you and the hubs are on the same page. Otherwise, all diaper changing will be up to you.
Best response to unwanted advice is in two parts. Part one: say "You may be right", or "I hadn't considered that". Part two: in your head (that's the important part), say to yourself "but you're probably wrong", or "because you're crazy".
Also? Have a plan when responding to a crying baby. I found that this helped me keep my sanity. For example, when the baby cries, first respond by checking the diaper or whatever. If that doesn't solve the problem, then go to the next possible issue, and so on. I tried to respond the same way each time (if possible), and I tried not to shove a bottle/boob in my child's mouth the minute she started crying.
This is more for older babies, but don't be afraid to let them cry it out when going to sleep. Have a reasonable amount of time you are willing to let the baby cry (for us it was 10 minutes). Usually, our kids were asleep by minute 9.
So excited for you! Having a child really expands your perspective, and your heart.
You need to keep the nose sucker the hospital gives you..the big good one, you will need that for a few years. Also, a Little Green Clean Machine, which will get used for several more years. I have a 3 year old son and 2 year old twin girls, so it's not like I am an amateur...also, skip the baby tub...I have given my infants baths in the tub since they were born, they have all survived infancy just fine. Mostly, you need some folks to talk to who will tell you you are DOING JUST FINE no matter what anyone else says...because someone is always going to tell you how inadequate you are (in nicer terms, sure..but still) make sure you have some cheerleaders...otherwise, enjoy! little boys are very cool...
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