Jack. We're naming him Jack.
Even though I've been pretty whiney with this pregnancy ("Baaabe, I'm tired." "Baaabe, I'm hungry." "Baaabe, rub my back." ...I have a very patient husband), I've also been pretty lucky. I was hardly sick at all. Sure, I had my share of nausea, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what I've heard other people go through. I was mostly turned off by pretty much ALL foods at first - and lost five pounds in the first trimester. I didn't know how to feed myself when all I craved was milk, green beans, and beef. Candy sounded disgusting - which is usually my main source of...food...(if you can call it that - I know, that's a bad habit I need to kick). I threw up only one time due to brushing my teeth. TMI? Whatevs.
Now, I'm over that. The second trimester hit, and all was good. I can eat what I want without getting sick which is great.
Speaking of the second trimester, how many of you were really showing in your second trimester. I'm just shy of 20 weeks and have a very, VERY tiny bump (compared to pictures I've seen on BabyCenter of other women in the same week). I'm just a tad concerned that he might not be growing like he should. I have a doctor's appointment this week so I'll keep you all posted.
My favorite part? I can feel the little man move!! Holy smokes!! Why didn't I get pregnant earlier?? This is the coolest thing EVER!!!! He has this little routine which is so cute. I can tell when he wakes up because he stretches. For real. I feel this weird movement/pressure, and all the sudden, I've got kicks, punches, and flips happening in my guts. I love it.
Okay, enough update. Now for the good stuff.
I'm genuinely torn about work. I really love my job. I love the people I work with, I love what I do, and I love the kind of autonomy I have at work. At the moment, I plan to go back...but I would need a raise. I just don't make enough. I'd only be paying for daycare. Literally. I'd take a pinch of my income home for...gosh, not even for bills. It would hardly cover that.
So, what did you guys do? What do you suggest?
13 comments:
I'm sure Jack will be a cutie! I wouldn't worry too much about the size. My sister-in-law didn't show till 20 somethin weeks. You're small enough to be similar. As for work... Staying at home as long as you can is good. Very few moms actually say that they were glad to be back to work quickly. After a while you will definitely want to do something again though, so even a part time job (if you can get the same one) would probably give you the sanity, if not the money, you need. Personally, I love doing work from home so I can fit it in where I have time and still get to be around my little.
I'm a little surprised you asked which you should do. It seems to always bring on a huge debate.
I think staying home is best if you're not making money that will actually contribute to more than child care, but it's what has been right for me. You can go back to work part time if you feel the need, but I say go do things you enjoy and love if you're not getting paid enough. (I know work can be something people enjoy.) I've enjoyed being in community theater, developing some very SHAM hobbies, but they are fun, and right now the husband and I are taking ballroom dance lessons.
I know staying home is not for every woman, and really their are days that every SAHM go a little crazy, it's not easy being a parent, it's hard work, and you need to find a release, whether it be through a job, hanging out with other moms, or volunteering in your community. I know I have better relationships with my daughters because I've stayed home with them, but then we also get on each others nerves because we are always around each other.
Like I said, being a parent is hard, and you have to find your balance.
I like the name Jack. Every hero on TV's name is Jack.
Don't worry about not showing, with baby #2 you'll make up for it by showing at 2 weeks pregnant.
As for staying home or going back to work, I opted for staying home because I'm lazy as hell. But I also got super depressed because having an older baby/toddlers is super boring and I forgot how to talk to adults. It was a tough transition. Now I work from home and go to the gym every day and befriend Kroger cashiers for my adult time. Oh, and I comment on blogs and pick fights on babycenter as my version of "adult interaction".
I love your blog ! I just found it but Ive read back and am excited to hear more about your little boy! Ive never been pregnant so I cant help much on here but I hope everything is fine and can't wait to hear more ! :)
Jack!!! Awe, I love it! Totally normal that you're not showing a lot yet, its a first pregnancy thing, to trick you into thinking it will be the same way the next go-around. ;) As for work, up to you. I am the type that has to work. Not too much for the money, but to have a little bit of a refresher on how to talk to another adult. I am only going in two nights a week at Gia's (I'm a lifer, I know) because I still hate to be away from my smilie baby too much. But with my husband watching the kids, 12 hours a week and a few extra bucks is a good break. As a heads up though, sometimes one baby can be hard to stay home with all the time. Especially infants. My suggestion would to be to make sure to try to get out of the house a few times a week and also not to forget you. :) Its easy to do once those cute little shits come into your life!! Ahh!! Jack!! :D
Ahh... Jack is a good name. My dad's name is Jack!
K so I just found out you had a blog.. I LOVE IT! you are hilarious!! And I love the name Jack! Its perfect. Now as for the baby bump, DON"T YOU START THE COMPARING THING.... Trust me it will only give you head aches. Jack is fine, and healthy and strong. Every girl's body is so different. I'm 23 weeks prego and I look like I'm about to pop. At least that's what people say. And people will AlwayS have something to say. You're either too small or just Huge! So don't you worry your pretty little face! :) As for the work thing, I stayed home but it does get a little boring at the beginning.So you have to be sure to get out and socialize with other moms. I also have friends that decided to work which is totally fine too. Just do what you feel is best for you and baby Jack. I personally have no idea how girls can be mom's and work. Being a mommy is work enough for me! Anywho... there's my opinion! So happy for you! Glad you're feeling well now!
I LOVE the name Jack. I've always wanted a Jack and then my sister had to name her stupid dog Jack. OK, he's not stupid (he's actually quite adorable), but I was bummed out that used the name because Jack is pretty much her baby, so I think it's out for us if we ever have a boy.
And I'm not sure what to tell ya about your job. Truthfully, sometimes I wish I worked, but most of the time I'm really happy where I'm at. I will say this, make sure you do SOMETHING with adults and adults only whenever you can. I get really sick of talking to 1 year olds all day, so whenever anyone suggests a girls night out or something like that, I'm quick to take them up on the offer.
I love it! You'll have your own little Jack Mormon. ;) Haha sorry I had to. Seriously though, adorable name.
As for working-you know what I do. I work my buns off at home and try to find a balance. It's not easy. Of course I love being home w/my little guy but I also need social time and mental stimulation. And getting a paycheck is a requirement for me so I make it work. I'd say find out how much your office manager will work with you, how much time you'd be able to take off after the baby and if it's at all possible to get a raise. See what your options are and go from there. Maybe they would be cool with you coming back to work like 9 to 12 months later once the little man is more independent. You won't know until you ask.
Oh and if your doc says you're fine on weight gain, seriously don't worry about it. All women are different. You don't have to be the same size as someone else to be on track and healthy. :)
Love all of the comments. I completely agree about the fact that, regardless of what I do, I will need to do SOMETHING to keep me sane. Whether that be freelance writing...or going to the mall EVERYDAY*.
*Kidding. Maybe. I'll know more about that when the kid comes.
Also, I totally wish that we lived closer (rather than all over the friggin' world). I would totally use all of you to get in some adult time. :)
And Natalia!!!! Holy smokes, man! How did you find me?? I try to stay so hidden!! (Without going private...haha!!) How are you guys???
Every woman is different, so it's good to hear a lot of different perspectives. Just watch out for the mommy wars!
I went back to work after each of my babies were born. My husband was in school & residency, so we really needed my income to buy groceries and pay rent. We were able to use the university's day care since my husband was a student, and daycare fees were subsidized.
Though I wish I could have had more time off to heal (6 weeks wha?), and a longer paid maternity leave (6 weeks wha?), I loved going back to work. It made me appreciate every moment with my babies - made me more deliberate in my parenting. I was able to use a portable breast pump and breastfeed for about a year with each child.
For me, I was able to find a good balance and I am happy that I went back to work.
You'll know when the time comes. I asked my work for a pay raise and explained the costs of child care. They wanted to keep me, but I only work part-time. Perfect for me for right now!
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